Child stress: What causes it?

What causes a child to get stressed? Why should a child be stressed? These are two important questions that need answers and solutions.

It is important to understand that the factors that influence us the most in our lives are the ones we have the maximum emotional attachment to. Stress can be caused by a person, an object or a task.

TASK: 

When a child has a project to complete and they are struggling with it – it causes them stress. This stress is short lived. Once the duration for the project submission is over, their stress is over – irrespective of their performance or ability to do the project.

OBJECT: 

The loss or damage of a prized or revered possession can also cause a child stress. Whenever they think of the object it stresses them. This stress is subject to their thoughts. They can be distracted from the item and not feel the stress constantly. Over a period of time this stress reduces as they focus their thoughts on other matters.

PERSON: 

Unfortunately children receive maximum stress from their loved ones. Parents are constantly pressuring their children to study harder, score higher, perform better and be perfect. All parents do it in some way or the other. If not in academics, you pressurise your child to behave better. It does not matter how often you tell them – every time they see you they are reminded of it. So in essence being with their parents is stressful for a child. It is sad, but it is also a time to make amends.

We hear stories of children not liking a parent – usually it is the father. Why? It is because they always felt stressed in his presence. This was true even during the times when the father was not saying anything much. But the stress given by the father had filled an emotional capsule inside the child. This weighed heavy and made the child want to avoid the father to avoid feeling the pressure.

For a child – a parent is the dearest person till their mid teen years when they begin to develop emotions for a partner. The initial years are very crucial. And it is up to each parent to ensure that nothing comes between the bonds of love.

Very commonly a child begins to feel unloved when they feel stressed by a parent. This is a natural emotional reaction. It creates feelings of insecurity deep within.

Next we will look at ways to deal with child stress. How can a parent get the message across without it causing the child stress?